


Ring Fingers and Red Thread

by small_asian_ninja



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Because I can, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I dont know how this is going to go, M/M, Pierced Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Sad Eren, Self-Harm, Some angst, ereri, ereri fluff, hopefully good?, i think, idk we'll see, im a child of my parents but still no smut because ya'll nasty, im sorry I didn't think it would come to that but its here o just in case, its a soulmate au with a twist, just kidding im deist lol, kind of, no smut because I am a child of god, poorly written angst but still a decent attempt, so now I guess its more angst, well it aint so eventual now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-26
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-09-02 06:44:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8654788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/small_asian_ninja/pseuds/small_asian_ninja
Summary: Everyone has a red thread tied to their ring finger. They're fickle things, growing thicker, getting thinner. They reflect the status of your current relationship or connect you to your next one. After Eren snaps his first string he believes he'll never find love again, until another string appears, tied to a small, angry raven, who came with the most beautiful set of grey eyes.





	1. My Fault

# Ch. 1 - My Fault

Everyone has a red thread tied to their ring finger.  You may not notice it until you’re older but it’s always been there. You can’t untie it, even though the little bow looks quite flimsy. You can’t cut it, even though it’s very thin. Lastly, no one else can see it but you. When I first noticed the thread I tried to untie it many times before giving up and just asking my mom about it, and she told me that the appearance of the red thread means you’re in _love_ . Not really something an elementary school boy would be thinking about. My mom told me that the the thread connects you to the person you’re currently in love with, or the next person you’re going to fall for. Again love was not a subject a elementary school boy would even want to be connected with, but there was the proof. Someone out there in the world was _in love_ (oh god) with me and I guess I was in _love_ with them too (oooh god please no.).

This was the time when girls had cooties and boys ran around screaming if they got touched by one, so of course the red thread was not something I wanted to see tied around my ring finger, but it turned out that was around the time everyone else was starting to see theirs too. Some people found the ends of their strings immediately, meaning they had found the person whom they were connected to, while others, like me, had no idea where the end was. But for me at the time, that was ok.

I woke up to my alarm blaring and the smell of my mom’s cooking, though I couldn’t quite remember why I had set it in the first place. Waking up early wasn’t something I did unless I absolutely had to, and even when I had to I usually ended up accidentally falling asleep again and being late. Whatever I had set my alarm for, it was probably important so reluctantly I dragged myself out of bed. After almost falling down the stairs and then trudging half-asleep through the halls, I finally reached the source of the good smells.

“Good morning Eren.” my mom said from behind the stove.

“Morning…” I replied groggily.

The rest of my family was already sitting at the table, my father looking through his schedule and my sister Mikasa fixing the bow on her uniform. Uniform? Ah yes, the first day of school, that’s why I had set an alarm. Summer had come to an end much too quickly for my liking, though it wasn’t like I was doing anything too important during that time. A good majority was spent playing video games, going to soccer practices and taking pictures, lots and lots of pictures. I had always loved photography, even as a kid I liked taking pictures of everything. The only other thing that I loved that much was soccer, which my dad got me into. I think my dad was always a little uneasy about my loving photography because it was artistic and boys weren’t suppose to like art, we were suppose to love sports and be social and what not, so when he saw me getting into photography (That was my mom’s doing) he signed me up for soccer and I’ve loved it ever since.

After running up stairs again to throw on my uniform and then running back down, I sat down at the table as Mikasa set down the last two  bowls in front of me, one steaming with boiled eggs, rice and the other filled to the brim with miso soup.

About half way through the meal I glanced up looking at the clock.

“Mika it’s 8:20!” I exclaimed, standing up so suddenly that my chair tipped over.

The last thing I wanted to do was be late for the first day of freshman year.

“You two are going to be late, you better run!”  my mom said, hurrying the two of us out the door, while at the same time making sure we hadn’t forgotten anything.

“Have a good day you two!” she called as we sprinted down the block.

“Bye mom!"

 

**Flash forward 4~ish years**

 

“Mika do you really have to leave?” I whined.

“Yes Eren, I got a scholarship and besides, if you’re going to study law, might as well go to the best law school in the world right?”

Damn my sister and her extraordinary smarts.

“But Mikaaa-” I pleaded.

“Besides Eren, you’re leaving too right? To pursue photography?” she said, cutting me off.

“Well yes but-”

“Point proven.” she finished with a light smile on her face.

“You don’t even need to go to law school, you can win arguments just fine on your own.” I grumbled. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t going to miss her. Mikasa wasn’t actually blood related to the family, her parents were good friends with our family, so when they were tragically killed, our family took her in and she’s been my sister ever since.

“Don’t worry Eren,” she said ruffling my hair a little, damn her and her height, “We’ll all see each other on the holidays right? Even Armin can come over,”

That was right, I was leaving Armin behind too. 

“But don’t you dare forget to text me every so often.” she warned.

“I promise, I promise.” I said motioning with my hands for her to calm down.

She let out a sigh, then pulled me into a tight hug “I’ll miss you, don’t do anything stupid.”  then she took the last suitcase and walked out to the car. My parents would be driving with her to the airport so their goodbyes would be exchanged there, but as for me, I had to keep packing.

I watched as my only sister and sibling walked through the door and down towards the car, looking much different from when she first walked up those steps as a little girl. She was dressed in a navy blazer and matching pencil skirt,  she looked so professional and grown up I had to question if this really was the same girl I played with long long ago. But I didn't have time to get sentimental,  I had things to do, so after watching their car pull out of the driveway and zoom out of sight,  I shut the door and sprinted to my room to pack.

I was less than five seconds into packing when my phone buzzed. I checked the texts,  it was my boyfriend Jean.  Freshman year I had found the end of my thread connected to the biggest smart ass I had ever met in my entire life. Turns out the smart ass was actually kinda adorable at times and we ending up dating all 4 years of high school.

“Hey what’s up”

“Packing,  hbu?”

“Look Eren…”

That usually didn't mean the greatest of things.

“There's something I want to talk to you about.”

Well that wasn't usually good either.

“What?”

“You know how when a couple is doing well their thread gets thicker?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s been 4 years Eren.”

_No._

“It hasn't gotten any thicker.”

“Jean what are you saying.”

“I don't think this is gonna work out.”

_“‘I don't think this is gonna work out.’”_

I heard my phone buzz again but I didn't pick it up, I was just kind of in a daze.  Yeah I had worried a little about the thread too, but I was happy,  maybe it was normal, was it my fault?  It must have been my fault. I glanced down at the little red bow tied around my ring finger only to notice the string attached had snapped.

_“I don't think this is gonna work out.”_

I was filled with so many unanswered questions that that I may never get answered. My chest ached, like my heart was collapsing into itself. Is this was heartbreak was?  Was it my fault? I re-read the text about a million times trying to tell myself to wake up and to shake myself from this nightmare. When I woke up I could text Jean about it and he would probably laugh and say something sappy like “Don’t worry Jaeger I'm not going anywhere” but no matter how many times I pinched, bit or scratched at myself,  I wouldn't wake. It wasn't a dream,  but I wanted it to be so badly. Those four years may have been the happiest I've ever been in my life, and it all to come crashing down in less than a few minutes over a cell phone. Just a few texts and all of a sudden those four years meant nothing. Just a faded picture of the past,  and I could do nothing about it. _It really was my fault._

The rest of my day went like this: finish packing, load up the car, drive to the apartment I was going to live in (dorms were crowded and expensive), carry boxes all the way up to the 5th floor and wave goodbye to my parents. There was a lot of hugging (mostly from my mom) before they finally got back into their car and drove off but after that I was on my own. Mikasa was probably in a different country by now, Armin was actually going to be relatively nearby but he hadn’t drove down yet, and now I didn’t have Jean to text. Jean again, I had to stop thinking about him. It was evident he wasn’t joking from the missing thread on my finger yet I was still so completely hung up on him. I thought that when your thread broke it meant that both people were unhappy, _I_ was happy, why wasn’t he happy?

_Because it was your fault_

It must have been my fault. I couldn’t pay attention to the signs, I couldn’t do enough, I couldn’t make him happy. It was my fault that the thread snapped, I only had myself to blame. I silently padded back up the stairs only to be greeted by a silent and dark apartment. No mom to greet me with a warm meal, no Mikasa nagging me to finish my reading, just darkness. For the first time I had no one to turn to. I was completely and utterly alone. Mikasa was probably already sleeping and there was no way I was calling my parents after they just left, besides, it was 9:00, I wasn’t going to wake them up for this. After all, _I only had myself to blame_.

Not bothering to flick on the lights, I scanned the small apartment and all the boxes I would have to unpack, but not tonight. All I wanted to do was sleep, but when I finally found the bed and plopped down in it, jeans and all, sleeping seemed like the last thing my mind wanted to do. I slid out my phone, squinting when the bright screen illuminated the room. It read “1 new text from Jean”. Without thinking twice I unlocked it and read the text.

“Sorry.”

That was all it said. I don’t know how long I looked at the screen but before I knew it, it was 5:00 in the morning. Somewhere in between I had dozed off. My phone was still in my hand, though the screen had turned off long ago. Mornings were not my thing, so the fact that I had gotten up at 5:00 in the morning without an alarm was a special occasion. Silently I rolled out of bed, only to be faced with a few small mountains of boxes that needed unpacking. Since there was no way I was going back to sleep, I decided that now would be a great time to try to be productive. I started unpacking the clothes first so that I could get changed and brush out my unruly hair and by the time I was unpacking the last box it was it was noon and I was starving. I still had to throw away all the boxes though, so after checking one more time to make sure my hair wasn’t all over the place, I headed downstair with an armful of flattened boxes. Once I had successfully dumped them all into the recycling bin in the back of the apartment building, I started down the road to find a coffee shop or something where I could get something to eat. About two blocks down I realised I forgotten my wallet. I turned around and sprinted as fast as I could back towards my apartment, avoiding people on the sidewalk as best as I could. I really had no real need to rush, but I was pretty damn hungry seeing as I hadn’t ate for more than twelve hours. I rounded the corner at breakneck speed and dashed for the apartment but I noticed a little too late that someone else was opening the door to the building. I threw open the door to the apartment building ramming, full speed into some guy who also happened to live in my building. He was holding a full cup of tea by the looks of it that spilled all over both of our shirts and the floor, and may I mentioned that it burned like hell?

“Ah shit I am so sorry…” I grumbled apologetically, rubbing my chest, which his face had rammed into… well I rammed into him.

“Damn it brat, watch where you’re going.” he said rubbing his forehead tenderly.

I looked down at my plain white shirt, now with a large light brown mark spreading across the entire front. Luckily I didn’t care much for this shirt and if I could never wear it again, I would be pretty fine, but the guy I ran into on the other hand was wearing something pretty trendy, something he probably didn’t want to get dirty.

‘I am so sorry,” I said, holding out my hand to help him up, “I forgot my wallet so I had to rush back and I guess I wasn’t thinking-”

“Damn right you weren’t thinking.” he snapped, ignoring my offered hand and getting up himself, “I just fucking washed these clothes.”

I started to say something, but the man just stomped off with his empty cup, most likely to go change clothes. I sighed trailing my hand down my face. I was off to a great start. I haven’t even spent 24 hours in this place and I’ve already pissed off my neighbors. Lovely. I was just about to continue with my day when I noticed something skinny and red trailing from my hand. 

_A red thread._

That was wrong, I must have been seeing things, but there it was, pooling itself at my feet and then fading near the middle of the hallway. I shouldn’t be allowed to fall in love so early after a breakup. I don’t even deserve another chance. After all it was my fault. If I couldn’t keep Jean happy, how am I supposed to keep the next one happy? I thought that when I got a second chance, if I got a second chance, I would be relieved beyond belief because it meant that I could be capable of loving again, but this only terrified me. I didn’t want to feel that crushing sensation again. I didn’t want my heart broken again. I was already so torn. What if it happened again? Just like this? If I allowed myself to love and be loved would it all come crashing down again? I didn’t want to be broken anymore than I already was.

 It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes but I heard the familiar sound of footsteps coming down the stairs so I snapped out of my thoughts to see who it was. It was the man from before, now dressed in a clean burgundy tee, black ripped jeans, black combat boots and a matching burgundy beanie.

“Tch… you’re still down here?” He said, casting a sideways glance at my ruined shirt.

“I uh... “ I started before noticing a small red ribbon tied to the man’s index finger. I could see his thread. That meant only one thing. I attempted to get words out again, but my mouth simply hung open and useless for a few seconds before he noticed it too.

“No fucking way.” he breathed, “No way am I supposed to fall for this clumsy brat.”

After shooting me a quick glare he stormed out of the building leaving me still drenched in tea and completely confused. I guess with Jean we didn’t like each other immediately… again with Jean. Even when I was graced with another opportunity, another chance that I couldn’t screw up, I was thinking about him again. God I had already screwed up, I’m surprised the thread hasn’t already snapped. 2 seconds into meeting me and he already hates me. Nice going Eren.

Silently I trudged back up to my apartment in a mindless state to change but I wasn't in the mood to eat anymore. I unlocked the door and padded in, the drenched shirt sticking to my chest in uncomfortable ways but I didn't change. Instead I subconsciously went for my phone. Clicking the on button I was almost surprised to see no new messages until it all crashed back again.

_It hurts. It hurts so much._

I crumpled in a weak pile on the floor and for a few moments I didn't notice the silent tears dripping down my face. I didn't wipe them away. I just let them drop onto the floor one by one by one.

_It hurts. It's hurts too much._


	2. Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is just a whole lot of Eren being sad. I guess that's it.

#  Ch. 2 - Broken

I didn’t eat. I could barely sleep. I didn’t know what to do with myself. Was I overreacting? I probably was. Could I help it? No. My life felt like was falling apart at the seams, and I hated myself for it. Was I not good enough? Not caring enough? Was my personality boring? Did he get bored of me? He must have. I kept looking for reasons, answers, trying to figure out what to do with myself. I had to pull myself together, I needed to. Classes started in a week. I couldn’t lose photography too. It was one of the only thing keeping me sane. I stared blankly at the camera on my nightstand and decided I had to do something in order to sort all of my confusion. After pulling off my tea stained shirt from yesterday and replacing it with a red sweater, I grabbed my camera and left my apartment. 

Stepping outside was a slight shock. It had gotten much colder and I started to wish that I had brought my scarf and gloves with me, but I was too lazy to walk all the way back to get it, so I just wrapped my arms around myself and started walking to the park. My apartment was right by campus, town, and a few parks, which was perfect for photography purposes. Plus some of the trees were already starting to turn, signaling the start of fall. Usually my pictures reflected the mood I was currently in but the brilliant flames that had started to engulf the leaves of the campus trees were far to vibrant. What was I feeling? I wasn’t sure, so I kept walking. I beginning to think this a bad place for the pictures I was looking for. Everything was painted in warm colors. Peoples’ rosy cheeks, friends’ warm smiles, and the fiery vibrancy of just-turned leaves, none of this was close to describing the weight in my chest. I walked until the wind pierced every breath and my fingers were half frozen before I found what I was looking for. The picture standing in front of me was a morbid kind of beautiful. It was a sickly tree in a grove of dozens of healthy ones. Of all those trees, it was the only one who didn’t vibrate warmth and beauty. It’s branches were thick but frail, as if the wind could snap them off if it was challenged to. The leaves might have once been the most beautiful red of them all, but now they were a sickly yellow-green. Like it was trying to turn but it couldn’t. Surrounded by warmth but unable to return it. Broken and sick. Still trying to live, but dying faster. I lifted my numb fingers to the camera at my neck, but the strap was restricting me from getting the angle I wanted it at. I took a deep breath, holding the capture button half way down to get the picture to focus. My hands were shaking bad from the weather but I needed them to keep still. With all my strength I willed them to steady. 3, 2, -

“Oi brat!”

_ Crack _

“You still owe me a new shirt.”

I looked down in exasperation to see my camera on the concrete sidewalk. Its lense was shattered, I didn’t dare guess what else. 

“What the hell were you doing taking pictures of dead trees anyways?’ 

“I uh- “ my breathing got fast, I couldn’t lose photography too. 

“Oi, you alive in there?” he asked flicking the back of my head.

“I’m so sorry”  I whispered.

Finally the angry raven noticed the shattered camera lying on the sidewalk. 

“What’s this?” he said, bending down to further examine the object.

I turned to walk away but a gloved hand held me in my tracks. 

“That’s a damn expensive camera.”

I didn’t meet his eyes.

“Look in a person’s eyes when they speak to you.” he scolded, spinning me around to meet his eyes. They were the most beautiful shade of gunmetal grey.

“What a clumsy brat,” he chided, staring down at my half frost-bitten fingers, “No wonder you dropped your camera.”

Silently he slipped off his black gloves and slipped them onto my hands. They were slightly small but they were warm. 

“Next time dress warmer.” he mumbled before stalking off, leaving me with the broken camera. 

I couldn’t help but watch in fascination as I watched his red thread disappear. He was a funny little man. Maybe a few years older than me, with an attitude that matched an angry cat, but underneath the cold I saw for a second, warmth. 

I gathered the remains of my camera and walked home in an odd daze, almost more confused than I was before. Should I be happy? Should I be sad? I wasn’t sure. Times alone like this were frightening because it was silence that prodded the dark thoughts that plagued my mind. The black ones that infected my heart and made it hurt. 

_ I don’t want to be alone _

The thoughts took over easily, spreading through my weak state, infecting every part of me. It hurt, but I felt like it was hurt I deserved. I felt selfish. Here was this opportunity to love again and I didn’t want it because I didn’t want to hurt anymore. I didn’t deserve this warm feeling that was spreading in my fingers, yet I never took them off. 

_ What a disgusting selfish creature. _

I arrived at my apartment, slipping off the gloves and carefully placing my camera on my nightstand in a dazed state.  I hadn’t eaten in over 48 hours and the lack of calories hit me in frightening waves. All of ta sudden the room was spinning, I dropped to my knees and the dark thoughts used this to their advantage to take over.

_ Worthless, worthless, worthless _

I wanted it to stop, I wanted the thoughts to go away, but they wouldn’t. 

_ Selfish, selfish, selfish _

I pulled at my hair, I wanted to scream, tears streamed down my face, all I wanted was silence.

_ You are nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing _

I gripped onto my arms, digging my nails, harder, harder, until I felt a warm liquid trickle down my fingers, and for a brief moment I had silence. With physical pain to worry about, I had no time for darkness, but scratches wouldn’t hold off the dark thoughts for long. Slowly, slowly they returned, in less force, but still strong.

_ It hurts. It hurts so much I want to die. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was a relatively short chapter. I promise ch. 3 will be longer. And maybe less sad? Haha knowing how the past two chapters have gone, probably not. 
> 
> For updates on when the next chapters will be, you can follow my tumblr! @small-asian-ninja  
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Burdens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically just these two dorks being cute dorks and Levi beginning to soften a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was fast! Haha not really actually, this chapter was written before I posted the first two on AO3. I just wanted to catch you people up with the ones on tumblr, so now you both can know what happens next. Happy reading! -small_asian_ninja

# Ch. 3 - Burdens

Sometimes I wish confusion didn’t exist. Like the kind of confusion that makes you wonder if you’re doing the right thing. I hate that kind of confusion. Most of the confusion this morning was why my arms ached like hell and why there were blood stains on my fingernails and hands. That confusion went away pretty quickly. I kind of hated myself for being so dramatic. It was so selfish of me to throw away this second opportunity just because I was afraid of getting hurt, because I was afraid I didn’t deserve it. I needed to eat. I hadn’t eaten in what seemed like forever and my hands were shaking so bad from a lack of calories that it was frightening. Just as I was about to throw on a long sleeve shirt to head outside I heard a knock at my door. Curious I got up and softly padded to the door of my apartment, wondering who would be up coming to visit me at 8:30 in the morning. Needless to say, I was a little more than surprised when I saw a short grumpy raven staring up at me, with… _with a camera in his hands_.

“Hello.” he grumbled.

I was at a complete loss for words.

“I thought you could use another camera, and since you looked like just another broke college brat… I thought I’d replace it for you…” he mumbled avoiding eye contact.

“I- there’s no way I could-”

“Just take it. Took me awhile to find the exact model you had, I’m not going to waste more time returning it.”

I reached out carefully, but my hands were shaking so bad there was no way I could hold something without dropping it. Frustrated I dug my nails into my palms, but that did nothing to stop the shaking.

“Hey, you ok brat?” he asked, a hint of concern creeping into his voice.

“Fine…” I replied, no it was my turn to avert his gaze.

“Usually people who are fine don’t have blood stains on their hands and finger nail marks in their arms.”

_Shit_

“Um, it’s nothing.” I said under my breath.

“Kid,” he said sternly, “I’m not stupid.”

“I never said-”

“If you can’t see it then I guess I’ll have to be the one to break it to you. You. Are. Not. Fine.” he snapped, stressing each word in his last sentence, “Now follow me.”

He grabbed one of my shaking hands with his right while he held onto the camera with his left.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Shut the door behind you.”

He took me up three flights of stairs to the top floor and down several hallways until he stopped me in front of a door. Presumably the door to his apartment. After unlocking the door and leading me through, he sat me down at the kitchen island,  kicked off his shoes, set down the camera, and began _cooking_ ? I watched in awe as the little man marched through the kitchen gathering ingredients to make whatever he planned on making. While he went about doing that I decided to let my eyes wander a little. The room was impeccably clean. White walls, white furniture, all spotless. It was the complete opposite of mine, which was still half unpacked with boxes strewn everywhere. For some reason this didn’t surprise me. I guess I thought since he didn’t seem to like people, maybe he just had so much time to himself all he did was clean? And cook apparently. I remember my mom saying something about not going into a stranger's home and letting him cook for me also probably wasn’t the best idea, but we were connected so I guess that meant something?

Every move he made was stunningly graceful. Eve something as mundane as cooking looked soothing in a way. How on earth did the end of my string find its way onto this human being? I have no idea. I’m not exactly sure how long I had been staring, probably too long. The notion was solidified with his cocked-eyebrow expression when he finally turned around with two steaming plates of pancakes.

“Do I have something on my face?” he asked, probably inquiring about the staring.

“”No, I-uh, I’m just going to stop talking now.” I stuttered placing my face in my hands to hide the-probably-tomato-red-blush that was most likely spreading across my face.

He set the plate down in front of me with the command to eat, then took his place next to me. For a few minutes we ate in silence until I realised, I didn’t even know his name.

“We’ve run into each other about 3 times already now and I don’t even know your name.” I said, more to myself than to him.

“It’s Levi.” he replied, glancing at me from the corner of his eye.

“Oh.”

“Aren’t you going to tell me yours?”

“Ah- well- um- ”

“Kids these days.” He said shaking his head in mock disapproval.

“I’m probably only a few years younger than you,” I grumbled, “And it’s Eren.”

“Anything else you want to know about me?”

“Has your string ever been attached to anyone else?” I blurted out, instantly regretting the words as they fell out of my mouth.

“Interesting question,” he said abandoning his half eaten meal, “the answer is yes but we won’t go into detail on that one yet. How about you?”

“Yeah,” I said, looking away briefly.

He shot me a questioning look but didn’t ask about it anymore, which I was thankful for. I don’t think I could take any questions about Jean right now. We ate in silence for the rest of the time.

Once we had finished eating, Levi cleared away the plates, dumped them in the sink and then proceeded to begin scrubbing each one quite ferociously.

“Don’t you have a dishwasher or something?” I wondered aloud.

“They don’t clean as well as hands.” he replied.

So I was connected to a clean freak. This might take some getting use to, but could also be quite helpful. I thought back to my cluttered and unpacked apartment. Maybe it would be a good idea to have someone else help unpack, it would also give me an excuse to help get to know him better. We were connected after all, might as well.

“You really seem to like cleaning don’t you.” I teased, planning to drop in my idea soon.

“I don’t like dirt.” came his emotionless reply.

_“Quite the charmer I have on my hands.”_ I thought sarcastically.

“I was just thinking, I still need to unpack my apartment, and you seem to really enjoy doing that kind of stuff…”

“Now is this me going to help or me doing the work for you?”

“We barely know each other and you can already read my mind,” I said laughing a little, “I promise I’ll be of use. Do you agree then?”

“Sure. I don’t have anything better to do today.”

I had to wait until the small raven had finished cleaning his entire kitchen before we could head down to my apartment, though I began to have a feeling he would not like what he saw when he opened the door. Sure enough when I unlocked the door and let him walk in, he shot me a deadly glare of disapproval.

“For the past two days you’ve been here, have you ever _thought_ of how disgusting this room looks?”

“Um, no?” came my sheepish reply.

“For fucks sake.” he grumbled, scanning the room for a decent place to start, “How about we start with your room because that’s the place where you sleep hopefully.”

“Ok…” I said warily,  knowing that was the room with the most unpacked boxes.

I lead him down the hallway to where the door to bedroom was. I hesitated at the door knowing that I’d probably get scolded for the conditions of my room too, but he just pushed passed me into the catastrophe that was my room. Again I got another glare of disapproval. Sighing I started to wonder if maybe it would have been better if I did this myself.

Surprisingly, he moved extremely fast for such a small person. He also had an incredible inventory of swears, curses and insults for every occasion. In a few hours my room was completely unpacked and so clean I could swear it was sparkling.

“That was so much faster than I expected,” I said in awe, admiring how clean my room was, “Lucky for us, this was the worst room.”

“Eren,” Levi said in a serious tone completely ignoring my previous remarks. He grabbed hold of my arm, spinning my around so I was forced to meet his intense gaze. “I still need to ask why there was blood stains on the floor by your bed and nail marks in your arms.”

I was silent, fixing my eyes anywhere else but his.. I couldn’t bring myself to outright tell him. It wasn’t something I wanted him to burden himself with.

“Eren,” he said, almost pleadingly, “look at me.”

“It’s nothing.” I mumbled.

“Now look here you little shit,” he said pulling me down so that our faces were only inches apart, “I don’t know if you haven’t noticed, but we are connected. I can tell when it’s nothing and it’s something, now talk to me.”

He released my arm, letting my resume my normal posture.

“It’s not your problem to fix.” I said, still refusing to meet his eyes.

“It sure as hell is.”

I finally looked at him, this time by my own choice. Pleading for him to drop the topic with my eyes, hoping that this one look could communicate something so that I didn’t have to say anything.

“Don’t think for a second I’m going to drop this topic until you tell me what’s wrong.”

I was so close to breaking in front of him. I didn’t want him to think I was weak, that I couldn’t do anything myself. I didn’t want him to see how pathetic I was. He saw through me almost better than Jean had. And just that thought brought up more memories I had been desperately trying to bury deep in the back of my mind.

“Eren,” Levi whispered, “Are you crying?”

Crying? I touched my cheek, feeling for a familiar wetness, and I guess I hadn’t realized it but I was. Quickly I covered my face with my hands. When did I start caring so much about how this person saw me?

“I’m sorry,” I whispered in between tears, “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

A few seconds passed in silence before I felt lean, muscular arms snake around my torso, accompanied by a sudden movement downward. I gasped as I my face plummeted into the raven’s chest.

“Don’t be.” he replied, as my tears began to soak his shirt.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, this chapter was longer than the first. And by longer I mean this was 3846 characters longer than ch. 2. Yes that is an accurate number. I just did the math with a calculator. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Hopefully soon there will be plenty more to come!


	4. Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided we've had enough sad Eren. Today, today is a day for a happier Eren. You're welcome.

# Ch. 4 - Warm

The first thing I felt was warmth all around me, which was an odd feeling after falling asleep on the floor for the past two nights. It was comfortable and soft, which made me come to the realization that I had successfully fallen asleep in my bed this time. Shocker. It was strange, my body didn’t ache, I wasn’t hungry, it felt like waking up from a pleasant dream. Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe I would open my eyes, check my phone and there would be a good morning text from Jean. Half of me wanted that desperately to be true, but the other half was hoping for the opposite. As much as I still wanted Jean, I was also starting to want Levi too. Which was almost a joke. He was sarcastic, a neat freak, an absolute ass hole, but he was an ass hole that cooked me pancakes and replaced my camera. I opened my eyes, heaving myself into an upright position and took in my surroundings. The room was spotless. Boxes were nowhere to be seen and a brand new camera was sitting on my desk with a white post-it stuck on the surface next to it. Curious, I dragged myself out of the warm pile of comforters and pillows to see what it said. Surprisingly, instead of some sarcastic comment about the state of my apartment, it was his number. Or at least I hoped it was. Levi didn’t seem the type to pull practical jokes. I picked my phone, tapping the number into my contacts list feeling a sort of giddiness wash over me. What the hell had gotten into me? All of a sudden I was acting like a 12 year old girl with a crush. Maybe it was the excessive fumes of cleaning supplies.

For once I was feeling productive the moment I got up, and I was excited to walk around town since my I was busy sulking my first few days. There was a kind of energy to me all of a sudden. Like I had been given a reason to keep going. It was a weird feeling, but not necessarily unwelcome. I ran my fingers through my hair, scrunching up my nose in distaste. There was probably enough grease in my hair to kill Levi, which was a funny idea, but probably not one he would take too kindly. I decided showering was probably a better option. After I showered I pulled on a clean t-shirt and jeans and then checked the weather remembering Levi’s last warning about dressing warmly. Funny, I had thinking about him a lot lately. Probably because we were connected. There’s no way I’d be able to bounce back that quickly. There’s no way I should be _allowed_ to bounce back that quickly. It wasn’t love. I was just desperate. Besides, it’s not like a guy like Levi would want something like a broken heart. I’ve already figured out he doesn’t like messes. He’d probably doesn’t want something like me. I felt a little drained all of a sudden, but I still wanted to get out so I grabbed a jacket and my phone and started to head out when I spotted the black gloves he had given me on the counter. I grabbed those too.

The air was crisp and cool, just like the day I dropped my camera. I was grateful for the gloves that added a little extra warmth to an outfit that wasn’t exactly suited for this weather. Since when was fall so damn cold? Soccer practice was going to absolute hell, I could already tell. To escape from the cold I ran into the first cafe I found. It was a quaint little place. Not too loud, and the atmosphere had a cute kind of homey feeling to it, not to mention it was warm. I ordered a hot chocolate and sandwich from the energetic brunette behind the counter and found a seat by the windows so I could watch the people pass by. I had always wished I could draw because for some reason whipping out a camera to take a picture of a scene like this is much weirder than sketching the exact same scene. I never really enjoyed drawing too much attention to myself unless I was showing off, but I still wished I had my camera with me at that moment. The scene painted around me was just so perfect. The contrast from the inside of the cafe to what it looked like outside was beautiful. Inside the colors were warm hues of orange, red, yellow, while the world outside was painted in various shades of light blues and greys. Almost as if it were straight out of a Christmas card or something except that it wasn’t snowing. I peeled my eyes away from the scene to observe the things going on inside the cafe. Most likely, these were all people who lived in this town or nearby since the town seemed quite small and close knit.  Behind the counter were two people probably about my age fooling around since they didn’t have anyone to attend to at the moment. The girl was a brunette with her hair kept back in a ponytail. The boy was about her height and had a buzz cut. They both seemed likable people. I wondered what had brought them to this town. They fooled around a bit until a built old man came out from the kitchen scolded them for fooling around on the job. Reminded me a bit of Armin and Mikasa. Me and Armin were always screwing around and Mikasa was always keeping us in order. Man I missed them. Armin was going to arrive in town tomorrow since his classes started a little later than mine. He was going into painting and art and that kind of stuff. All things I wished I could do, but I had photography and if that’s all I could do, then I was satisfied. I opened up my phone to check the time. I had been in there for about half an hour. It was probably about time to head back and be productive. Reluctantly I left the little cafe with plans to return in the near future and started on my way through biting winds back to my apartment.

It was a relief to finally get out of the cold, though my apartment wasn’t nearly as warm as the cafe so after stripping off my gloves and shoes I went straight for the thermostat, not caring about how much the electricity bill went up. Which reminded me, I’d probably have to go job hunting sometime soon. But that was a thought for later. Once the temperature was finally up to where I wanted it at I decided it was time to force myself to be productive. I groaned looking at my piles of boxes and thought of a small neat freak who would definitely make unpacking more tolerable. Digging my phone out of my pocket I shot him a quick text and then started on the first boxes. His reply came a lot sooner than I expected.

“Yeah I’m free what do you want?”

I couldn’t help but grin a little. He always had a sassy reply for everything didn’t he?

“Wanna help clean? :)”

“Not really. Your apartment disgusts me.”

Not exactly the answer I was expecting, but I wasn’t going to give up on this yet.

“Please?”

“What’s in it for me?”

“Knowing that my apartment won’t disgust you anymore?”

“Hmm, no.”

“I’ll replace your shirt.”

“Already did.”

“You’re impossible.”

“I know.”

I sighed, finally giving up on my attempt to get him to help. I guess he was back to his ass hole self. Shoving my phone into my pocket I resumed unpacking until I felt a familiar buzz at my side. I checked my phone, though I could already guess who it was.

“Giving up already?’

I let out an indignant noise.

“Well you weren’t going to help me so I just decided I’d be better off without you.”

“Kids these days.”

I could almost see his little smirk mocking me.

“I’ll be down in a few.”

Well at least I got something out of that conversation, even if I had to beg to get it. Stuffing my phone into my pocket once more I finished unpacking the box I had originally started with and began with the next until I heard knocking at my door. Just to spite him I decided to ignore the first round of knocks though I decided to let him in when he yelled “Oi, brat you were the one who begged me to come down in the first pace so either open the door or I break it open.”. I was already wasting enough money on the heat, I probably didn’t have enough to pay for a new door. I got up from my work, taking my time to get over to the door. I opened it to see the raven in the angriest state yet and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a little cute.

“Took you long enough, brat.”

I only replied with a slight “hmph”, which seemed to voice my pouty mood enough. I closed the door behind him then went back to unpacking.

“Oi,” he said kicking me in the back not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to get my attention, “Are you ignoring me?”

I gave another “hmph” and continued on.

“Stubborn brat,” he grumbled and then he pushed me to the ground with his foot, proceeding to pin me on my back and hold me there His legs were unusually strong for how small of a person he was. It wasn’t that I wasn’t fit, soccer kept me in shape all year round, yet no matter how much I squirmed I couldn’t break free. He then shifted his position, holding my squirming torso with his knee so that I couldn’t squirm as much.

“Eren,” he said, his tone warning, “Stop pouting.”

The weight and pressure of his leg was suffocating, but I had my pride to uphold here so I just stuck my tongue out at him, since breathing was getting a little harder.

“You are such a child.” he said rolling his eyes, ‘I can stay here all day, though it looks like it may not be as comfortable for you.”

_“No shit Sherlock.”_ I thought, though at the moment I didn’t have the guts to say it.

“Eren,” he said again, his tone quieter as he lowered his face towards mine, “talk to me.”

My face heated up, and it probably wasn’t because of the high thermostat. His face had never been this close to mine and it gave me the most amazing view of his eyes. I had noticed them before of course but I had never seen them this close. They were the oddest color, but so incredibly breathtaking, and then I realise how close our faces were. My face was probably a nice shade of scarlet, my pouty facade completely stripped away. 

“Ok, ok, I’ll talk, “ I coughed covering my face with my hands in a useless attempt to hide my furious blush, “Could you just get off me first?”

“Hmmm, no.” he replied, but I could feel his weight shift so that it was a little easier for me to breathe, “Talk.”

“Can I just admit to being petty?” I wheezed.

“Yes. That will do.” Levi replied.

I coughed as he slid off me with a look of smug satisfaction.

“Alright kid, can we work now?”

“I’m not a kid.” I grumbled, but I began unpacking anyways.

Hours went by in what felt like seconds. Before I could blink it was already dark outside.

“Well would you look at the time.” Levi said, casually glancing at the microwave clock, “ Good work today kid.”

He passed me unpacking the last box and casually ruffled my hair, then he showed himself to the door and left. My eyes stayed locked on the door he had left through as I tenderly touched the top of my head.

“What was that?” I breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That took longer than expected... whoops. I hope you guys enjoyed it anyways! I enjoyed reading all your comments on the last one, they made me feel so good about my work (;-;) honestly, thank you all for reading my stuff. Self-confidence restored.


	5. Friendly Meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW I am soooo sorry. Finals got me too stressed and I just didn't have the motivation to open up my computer and write. (school got me ded guys send help). But I was amazed to log on and see the hit count at FRiCEKN 216 or something. LIKE WHAT last time I checked it was at like 53 when did this happen??? But thank you all so much I can' t believe that many people though this story was worth looking at. love you guys <3

# Ch. 5 - Friendly Meetings

I couldn’t stop thinking of that day. It was so silly. A simple hair ruffle, an unnecessary hair ruffle, he didn’t _have_ to do that before he left. A single action and my thoughts were consumed by one person and one person alone. It was insane. It wasn’t right. Just a week prior I had been heart broken over Jean and now I was swooning over a short raven with a nasty attitude. God I needed to pull myself together. I was such a mess and I had classes today. Aaaand I was running late. _Fuck._  Going at a speed that would have put the Flash to shame I threw on some clothes, grabbed my backpack (that I somehow remembered to pack last night) and ran. Ok ran was an understatement. I sprinted like coach was threatening 30 extra minutes of plank. I skidded through the doors of the classroom an astonishing 2 minutes before class, which was just enough time to catch my breath and find a seat, preferably one close to the back. I scanned the classroom for familiar faces or at least friendly ones. What I found was either people too busy messing with their cameras to care to be talked to or people who already had a tight group of friends. Friends was never really my specialty. Really the only friends I ever had grade school through high school were Mikasa and Armin with the exception of Jean who butted in during high school. The were really the only friends I ever needed and my parents didn’t worry too much because I wasn’t a loner. Well I guess now I get to spend a whole hour completely immersed in photography lectures. I’m going to lose my mind.

The professor came in right on time. I have actually never seen someone so punctual in my entire life except for maybe Armin. Everyone seemed excited to jump right into actually photographing stuff, but like any other first day, it was mostly expectations and an outlook on the semester. It was a grueling first hour, but in all honesty my professor didn’t look like he’d be half bad. He was maybe late 30s to early 40s and seemed at least half interesting. I left class as soon as we were dismissed. I was suppose to meet Armin today and even though it hadn’t been that long, it felt like years since I had last seen his face. I sent him a quick text telling me to meet at that little cafe I had been to. Surprisingly I never caught its name. It was too cold to stand out for another second just to memorize the name of a cafe. I’d memorize it later. A second later I felt a familiar buzz from my jacket pocket.

“Wow, so descriptive. ‘Meet me at that cafe’... yeah like there aren’t a billion other cafes on campus alone.”

I chuckled a little at his response. I was kind of hoping the cafe would stand out to him too but I guess not.

“You know the one that looks really cozy and warm and stuff? It’s on the corner near my apartment building.”

“Oh your descriptions are just getting better and better. Every campus cafe looks cute and cozy. They’re basically on every corner and you have like 5 near your apartment.”

Now I knew he was just being snarky. There are quite a few cafe’s near my apartment but Armin knew I was only willing to walk about a mile before my patience wore thin.

“I bet you’re already there aren’t you.”

“The cute cafe that looks like it belongs in a painting? Oh yeah I’ve already ordered coffee, you’re late Jaeger ;)”

The little shit. I shoved my phone back into my pocket and took off running for the cafe. I would definitely be in shape by the time soccer season rolled around. As expected Armin was already sitting down at a table, coffee and sandwich already sitting at the table.

“You little shit.” I said going over to meet him.

“Good to see you too Eren.” he chuckled, “Go order something and sit down. I bet money that you skipped breakfast today and were running late.”

“Oh really?” I said cocking my head as if to say “bet.”, “And what makes you think that?”

“Your hair.” He said simply.

Damn. I had a reputation for bad bedhead. It can take me forever to get it to look half decent.

“Ah, well I tried.” I said sighing and getting up to go order some food.

The same two college kids were working the register, both seemed fairly friendly, though I wondered if they had to act that way because of their job.

It was rather quiet in the cafe today, and Armin had all day to talk. There really wasn’t much to catch up on but we ended up staying at that cafe for 3 hours. At one point though we decided to get going since we had been occupying that table for much too long. I waved goodbye to Armin and jogged back to my apartment even though I really didn’t need to, it was cold as fuck. Walking up the stairs to my apartment I realized Armin hadn’t mentioned Jean once while we were talking since he usually made it his duty to know every detail. I wondered if he knew. Even if it was a possibility it made me slightly paranoid. I didn’t want him to know. My burdens weren’t suppose to be everyone else’s. I didn’t want him to worry.

_It’s all you fault it’s all your fault_  
The voice constantly whispered in my head. I didn’t want Armin and Mikasa worrying about something that they need to. Everything was fine, I was fine, or at least that’s what I kept telling myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehhh short chapter I know. I was rushing to get something out. Not too much plot but hey it's something right?? Right? (please don't kill me)


	6. Ditched

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this was suppose to be longer but I also wanted to update. I picked the lesser of two evils. One day I'll make another long chapter I promise.

#  Ch. 6 - Ditched

“Hey lets meet at that cafe again, that was fun :)”

It had only been a few minutes since he had last seen the blond but one can never spend enough time with their best friend. Almost immediately, a faint buzz alerted him of his reply.

“Yeah! We should explore the town together. I’ll even introduce you to some of my artist friends since I bet you haven’t made any yet ;)”

“Yeah yeah. Maybe meet at noon?”

“Sounds good, see you then!”

I put down my phone and flopped down on my bed. I probably should have signed up for soccer but instead I grabbed my camera, gloves, and jacket and headed out again. Something inside me still needed to take a picture of that tree. I’m not sure what it was really. Leaves crunched under my feet as I speed-walked to my destination, determined to take the picture this time. All the trees in all their magnificence watched over me almost as if they were flaunting their beauty. Sometimes I wish I had that much confidence. I joke and display something that could be mistaken for arrogance, maybe haughtiness all the time. It’s the best mask to hide behind. Behind that mask is a frail uncertain child. Most times I like the mask better than the person behind it.

I looked up from the sidewalk I had been staring at intensely the whole way here, knowing I was reaching my destination and I almost dropped my camera again. I walked over to the stop, my fingers lightly caressing the dry bark on the stump where my tree once was and then I laughed. But it wasn’t the kind of laugh that people make when you hear something funny. It was more a quiet laugh, one that made fun of this whole scenario. Wasn’t it funny that this weak and dying tree that I thought represented me was just gone? Cut down probably by the one who used to care for it. It was ridiculous. I had to laugh. Cut down without a single thought. That’s what we do to the weak and dying. God I wonder what Levi would think of the person behind the mask. Would he cut me down too? Break me without a second thought? I didn’t want to believe my own words, but I also didn’t want to disappoint myself again.  
The next day came, class began and ended, and I was rushing back to that cafe to meet Armin, and hopefully beat him to it. When I got there, slightly out of breath, to my delight Armin was not there. Before doing anything else I sent him a snarky text that went a little along the lines of “You’re late Arlert :)”. Lets just say the reply was not expected.

“I’m soooo sorry Eren, but I have way too many boxes to move and I want to get done before classes start. Go explore by yourself and map out some good restaurants for us to eat at ok? :)”

Armin has never ditched me before. It was a kind of weird feeling. Maybe more of a bad feeling, but whatever. He needs to unpack. I can relate, mountains of boxes are never fun. Besides we hung out yesterday. I ordered a hot chocolate to go and left just as quickly as I’d come. I started down the sidewalk with no clear destination in mind. It was unbearably cold again and for the millionth time this week I asked myself why I couldn’t have picked a college located in a more tropical climate. I wrapped my arms around me to conserve warmth and continued down the same path. There seemed to be several places that looked as if they would have good food around the area plus a bunch of cute looking shops selling all sorts of stuff. It looked like a nice place to hang out on the weekends. This may be one of my last weeks to explore it with this much time though since the bulk of my classes would begin with Armin’s. A long shiver ran up my spine and I squeezed myself a little tighter. I risked breaking my tight cocoon of warmth to check the time. It was a little after noon so I made a dash to the nearest sandwich shop which was fortunately across the street. The warmth was definitely welcome, and the sandwich shop also looked just as warm and inviting as the cafe.

I approached the petite strawberry blonde running the cash register and told her my order. She seemed friendly enough and young enough. I began to wonder if she went to the art school too. There wasn’t really much else to the town besides the art school anyway, oh and the hundreds of cafes. I sat down with my order and glanced at my phone, hoping for something, anything really to distract me. I’ve never really been ditched before. Especially not by Armin but I could understand the reason. Moving in was hard. I definitely didn’t have the motivation to do it on my own. As I pondered about moving my thoughts shifted to Levi. I really couldn’t stop thinking about him, and it drove me crazy. I found myself staring at the red knot tied around my finger for a long period of time before I realised that the string had grown thicker. Not by much but it was still quite the event. I stared eyes wide at my ring finger. The thread wasn’t much thicker than a string of yarn but it had grown considerably since the last time I had looked at it. I was so consumed by my thoughts I didn’t notice the person who had taken a seat across from me until two slender fingers flicked my forehead. I glanced up from from my trance to see the exact person who won over every thought every waking minute. The exact person who was on my mind just a few seconds ago, and was technically still being thought about.

“What are you thinking so hard about brat?” the raven said teasingly.

I kind of just stared at him with my mouth hanging slightly open, like a guppy fish.

He held up his right hand, showcasing the little red bow also tied on his finger.

“Looks like you noticed too.”

I nodded unable to form any words.

He let out a sort of snort that made me think he might have been laughing, “so what do we do now?”

“I- I don’t know.” I croaked. I still had this pressing feeling that I didn’t deserve this, that I didn’t deserve any of this. I thought about Jean and my heart would still ache, yet with Levi I would just forget and I didn’t think I should be allowed to forget. I was afraid, I didn’t want to hurt myself again, but now I also didn’t want to hurt Levi. I couldn’t meet his eyes, I couldn’t show him my fear. I heard him stand up but I didn’t move from my seat. I thought he was just leaving me like everyone else.

“Are you coming brat?” he said nonchalantly.

I looked up at the small raven, who looked so intimidating despite his small stature and then I galnced at my phone lying on the table with no new notifications lighting up the screen.

“Yeah.” I replied shoving my phone in my pocket and standing to follow him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was actually based on some unfortunate events. Maybe a few weekends before I suppose to go see a movie with a few of my friends. I didn't even plan this I just agreed to go. Long story short I ended up watching the movie by myself which inspired this lovely (yet short) chapter. I hope you enjoyed! Hopefully next chapter will be longer but I said that last chapter too...


	7. Notice

Notice

Whats up guys~ small asian author back at it again but this time not with a new chapter Im so sorry (;-;). School work and sports have taken up my every breathing moment and I just havent had the motivation to squeeze in time for writing. I have a chapter underway but I dont know when I will be able to finish it. Im soooo sorry for the extended (not to mention unexpected) hiatus I hope to return with the story soon.

Much love -small_asian_ninja 

Side note: thank you all for your lovely comments I love reading them and replying when I find time. You guys are the greatest <3


	8. A Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BAAACCCKKK. I wrote this chapter on an 9 hour flight to France it was great xD. Hopefully I'll be able to update more often since its the end of the school year.

# A Date

Once again I was whisked back into the freezing cold weather, though at least this time I had someone to share the pain with, except not exactly. Although we were both walking through the same horrible wind, I was a human icicle and Levi was completely fine. It wasn’t natural. That level of temperature tolerance was not in the _least_ natural. He wasn’t wearing much more than I was, he was dressed in a black wool trench coat, jeans, and a red scarf. His hands were shoved in his pockets, I was still wearing the gloves. Even if he was wearing clothes suitable for the weather, while I was walking around in a light fall jacket, it should be impossible for anyone to walk through this wind without being bothered at all. It pissed me off a little.

“What are you staring at brat?” he grumbled.

“How the are you not cold?” I retort.

“Maybe because I wear clothing suited for the fucking weather. Ever heard of layers kid?” he snaps back sending another one of those chilling glares my way, and I didn’t think I could get any colder.

“It is completely unnatural to be that tolerant to the cold.” I mumble under my breath. He hears me.

“Your whining is unbearable, I swear do you not own warm clothes?”

“Not really.” I said, teeth chattering through my cheeky grin.

“I can believe that.” he scoffed.

“Mostly because where I come from it never drops under fucking 50.” I add, giving him another side glance.

“Wait you’re kidding right?” He said turning to me.

“Why would I joke about that?”

“Ok you’re coming with me.” he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me down the sidewalk.

He shoved me into a big clothes store on the corner. This was probably where he shopped. All of the clothes here were extremely high fashion, and also probably highly priced. There was no way I could afford anything from this store, except maybe one pair of socks. At least the store was warm.

He pulled me through aisles of clothing, stopping occasionally to eye a certain item that caught his eye, grabbing one, shoving it in my arms and then continuing on. Once he was finished pulling me through the store, he shoved me into a dressing room with the order to come out after trying on each item. I plopped down onto the dressing room stool with an armful of clothes. I don’t know how he expected me to be able to purchase all of these, anxiously I turned over a price tag on the shirt on the top of the pile and almost passed of. 50 dollars for a fucking button down? No way in hell was I gonna buy that, but reluctantly I put it on anyways knowing if I didn’t he’d probably beat my ass. I checked myself out in the mirror after I had put it on, it was a navy blue, short sleeved button down, that looked pretty damn good on me if I had to say so myself. Sheepishly, I poked my head out of the dressing room, where Levi was standing waiting.

“Took you long enough.” He said pulling me completely out of the dressing room. He scrutinized me up and down for a few seconds before yanking me down to pop open the first button of the shirt, “Ok, put this one in the keep pile.”

“Um… Ok.” I said, slightly shocked at the whole affair. I disappeared back into the dressing room, quickly stealing glance at myself again, though the person staring back didn’t look quite like me. My collar bones were just slightly exposed, showing off tan skin that contrasted the navy just right. It was a little weird to see myself so well dressed. We repeated the same process a dozen more times until the massive clothes pile that I started with was divided into 2 piles. One for keep and the other to put back. The keep pile was slightly large for my liking. And by slightly I mean the only thing I could afford in that entire pile was the plain black v-neck. After changing back into my normal clothes I came out of the dressing room, and as I did Levi pushed his way in, scooping up the pile of “keep” clothes. He headed straight to the register without speaking a word to me. I trotted after him trying to protest, saying there was no way I could afford anything in this pile, but he didn’t stop walking.

“Levi, please I’m a broke college student there is no way I can buy any of this stuff” I pleaded. I wanted to avoid as much embarrassment as possible, but he didn’t seem to hear me. He was getting closer and closer to the cash register, I was getting desperate.

“Levi please,” I said in hushed tones, “there is no way I’ll be able to afford all of this, please spare m the embarrassment.”

“Who said you were paying?” he said, and continued walking to the register.

I stood there in awe. He was gonna spend all that money on me? Yet there I stood, completely baffled as I watched the cash register scan each item knowing the price was going up with each “beep”. Levi returned to me with two bags filled with clothes. The only thing I could say was

“You shouldn’t have done that.” I mumble, slightly in awe.

“No thank you?” he replied smirking.

“Thanks…”

We plunge back into the cold, now with two bags full of clothes, even though the temperature is freezing outside there's a certain warmth whenever I’m with Levi. Although his attitude could be described as the complete opposite, there was something underneath that made him seem a lot softer then he presented himself to be.

Thankfully I made it back to my apartment before I froze solid on the sidewalks. I took both bags of clothes from Levi’s arms and dumped them on my bed, planning to leave them there until they absolutely needed to be moved, but of course Levi would have none of that. He set about hanging up all the clothes he had purchased in my closet, organized by color of course. Honestly I had no idea how fate had put us together. We were so different it was stunning, yet I found myself wanting to be around him more everyday. Once my little neat freak had finished organizing my entire closet, I followed him back into the living room/kitchen where I plopped down on the sofa and he sat down on one of the stools by the kitchen counter.

“So…” I began, tilting my head backwards over the sofa so I could see where he was sitting, “Was this a date?”

“What do you want it to be?” He asked cocking an eyebrow up.

“I don’t know…” I replied, jesus why did he have to be so difficult.

“Then it’s a date.” he said bluntly.

I could feel blood rushing to me face and quickly snapped my head back to hide the flush.

“Oh? Is the brat embarrassed?” he said, as he slid off the chair to saunter over to the couch.

Quickly I covered my face with my hands so as to hide any redness, but to no avail. The little raven slid down onto the sofa next to me and pried my hands off my face.

“You’re quite cute when you’re flustered like this.” he said, almost to himself. He was so close, his face inches from mine. If I wanted to I could kiss him right now. Almost as if he read mind the next thing he said was

“Eren can I kiss you?” it was so incredibly blunt, yet in a way it was kind of sexy.

I was too embarrassed to look at him, my eyes kept searching the room for anything else to look at, anything at all. I wanted to fidget, but he still had both my wrists enclosed in his hands.

“Eren,” he said in smooth tones, “look at me.”

Warily I met his gaze, and my face probably turned  few shades brighter.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked again.

“Do you want to kiss me?”

“Very much.” he said leaning a little closer.

My breathing got light and quick, his face was so close, maybe a few centimeters, I could feel his breath, it smelled like mint. How doe one respond in a situation like this? With Jean everything was on impulse, there were no prolonged silences or questions of consent, we just went with it. But dammit I shouldn’t be thinking about Jean right now.

“Eren are you ok?” he asked, with what could be seen as the smallest hint of concern. He backed up a little, “I can back off if that’s what you want.”

“I want to kiss you too!” I blurted out, instantly embarrassed with the words that tumbled out of my mouth. I stared intensely at the floor hoping for some relief, but receiving none. The silence seemed to last forever until I heard Levi laugh? It wasn’t really a laugh more like a quick nose exhale, but still it was something. I still couldn’t bring myself to look up from the floor, he was still so close. I felt his hands released my wrists and cold fingers, tilting my face slowly upwards. In the next second his lips were on mine, but it was different from the kisses I’d had before. Those were, quick, passionate, needy, like a fire with too much fuel. This one was slow and sweet. It was that same warmth I felt out in the cold with the bags filled with clothes all for me. After what didn’t seem like long enough, he pulled back, staring at me with those gorgeous storm grey eyes. I wanted him, I wanted all of him, I sat there impatiently wanting him more and more with each second, but instead he got up, leaving me alone.

“Hmm, what’s with that face you look so disappointed.” he said, cocking his eyebrow up, “Was I not a good enough kisser for your impossibly high standards?”

“No no of course not!” I said stumbling over my own words, “I, uh, it's nothing.” and then I returned to staring at anything else but him.

“I’m gonna make dinner.” he said. A feeling of dread came upon me once again. I counted one seconds, two seconds-

“Oi brat what the hell have you been living off of?” he yelled.

“Um, cafe sandwiches?” I said, giving him an innocent look.

“This is why you're so broke, fucking hell.” he grumbled, slamming the fridge door shut, “Come on we’re switching apartments so that I can make you actual food.”

“Ahh do I have to?” I whined, though in reality I was completely fine with going over to his place.

“Yes, you need to eat.”

“Fiiiiine.” I groaned, dragging myself off the couch, making sure my false suffering was overdramatized.

“If you keep whining I’ll drag you up the stairs myself.”

That got me, and in seconds I was on my feet and out the door.

Dinner was delicious as usual, and conversation was minimal yet nice at the same time. Just as I expected, right after we finished eating, he grabbed my plate and began furiously scrubbing both dishes. It was weird how I just expected these small things, and although we’ve only known each other for a short period of time, it feels as though it's been forever. It became harder to look back on my past and remember that Levi wasn’t there. It feels as if he’s always been with me, when I’m with him it feels kind of like home.

The next morning I woke up in my bed with no Levi next to me. I was disappointed by the notion even though I clearly remember leaving his apartment and returning to my apartment, I still expected it. It pained me to realize that I was already so attached to him. When I thought back to Jean I wanted some remnant of feeling to be left, it didn’t seem right to move on so fast, yet another part of me wished this past to be gone. Erased from me as if were never there. It felt wrong, but I felt compelled to forget that past anyway. But what if Levi left me too? I became anxious, one already left, what if he left too? I looked down at the little red bow tied around my ring finger, a small hair was beginning to form and intertwine with the rest of the threads. I watched in fascination as it twisted about trying to fit in with the rest, but a second later, it stopped, shriveling back a little. I panicked. Was I doubting myself too much? My heart raced watching this little red strand, begging it to twist into place. After moments of baited breath, it relaxed and fell into place. I could breathe again. It truly amazed me how fast the thread had grown over the days. The thickest it ever got with me and Jean was maybe a few strands thicker than what me and Levi had now, and that had taken years. I shook my head, trying to clear it out of all the confused thoughts. A shower would help. I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom, tuning the water on to the hottest it could go. Somehow I enjoyed scalding hot water. It baffled my parents just as much it did me. I pulled off my shirt taking a moment to examine myself in the mirror. There really wasn’t much to look at. Levi was practically a model, well dressed every day, with a face that could stop a girl’s heart in a second, I honestly still didn’t know how fate ended up putting us together. I scrutinized every inch, my eyes stopping at my wrists where the marks were just beginning to heal. I turned away from the mirror, not wanting to see the proof of my weakness any longer. _“The shower”_ I reminded myself. The shower would help. There was so much I wanted to wash away, but memories and weaknesses are not so easily removed.


	9. Lazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a lazy day...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im baaccckkk!!! Im baaccckkk!!! I missed you all <3333 thanks for sticking around I love each and every one of you (;-;). It's really late rn so I'm sorry if I seem kind of crazy hyped. This chapter is kinda shorter than I wanted it to be but I also wanted to post the day I was freed from school so that's what I'm doing. Please enjoy!

##  Ch. 8 - Lazy

Levi had bought a shit ton of clothes. He also took the receipt so I couldn’t stress over the insane amount of money he probably spent. I sifted through all the bags. Every single item was extremely high fashion, like a level of fashion I could never dream to have, yet here it all was. 

After hanging up all the clothes in my closet I fell back down on my bed. It was Sunday and I was bored. I wanted to text Armin but he was still probably unpacking. I wanted to text Levi but I didn’t want to seem needy. I guess I would just have to wait for him to text first. I glanced at the camera sitting on my desk. I sort of wanted to go out and take pictures but of what? I had barely spent a week in this town and I was already bored. Or was that really the right word? I wasn’t bored really because there were still things in this town that I was excited to see. Well one thing. One person to be extremely specific. 

I found myself gazing at the thread, letting everything go kind of blurry until I had to blink. It was still cold as hell outside and my bed honestly seemed so much more appealing, but I was also terribly bored so I decided to drag my lazy ass out of bed and onto the couch to binge watch a series Armin had recommended to me. It was supposedly about giant man eating titan things and humanity’s struggle against them. It sounded interesting and I really had nothing better to do so my lazy ass was transported from fluffy bed to fluffy couch. The show was actually a lot better than expected, though it was quite bloody. Kinda made me wonder how the hell Armin got into this because those titan things were fucking terrifying and like 5 people died in every episode. 

I was about halfway through season 1 when the notification noise on my phone went off. After not moving for hours on end, a simple reach across the couch took so much more effort than necessary. My high school soccer coach would kill me if he saw what I was doing now. I turned over my phone to check the notification to see the name I was hoping for this entire day. 

“Oi brat why haven’t you texted me yet? I’ve been waiting for you all day.”

My heart skipped a few beats. Waiting all day? A thousand scenarios flipped through my head of how my day could have been if I had just had the balls to text him first but you can’t change the past, only the future.

“Sorry I thought you were busy so I just left you alone…”

Barely a second after the message sent a got a reply

“I’m coming over.”

_ What. _

“Now?!”

“Yes, your door better be unlocked.”

_Shit._  

I wasn’t worried about the door being unlocked because I usually forgot to lock it anyways but I was still in my pajamas, which by the way consisted of an old white t-shirt and dark grey sweatpants. Not exactly the epitome of fashion, especially after Levi bought me all those nice clothes. I quickly debated over whether or not I should make an attempt to clean up and change but before I could already make any decisions the tiny raven was exploding through my door. 

“Was that really necessary?” I asked from the couch, twisting my body to see him.

He scrutinized the sad state I was in, buried in blankets on the couch and completely ignored my question settling with asking his own. “Have you ate?”

“What?”

“I’m asking if you’ve put food into your system in the last 15 hours.”

I thought about it quickly and realized that I hadn’t had breakfast or lunch and it was almost 6:30. 

“Um… no?” I replied giving him a sheepish smile.

He let out an exasperated sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, “Kid, you are hopeless. I fear what will happen if for some reason I have to leave you alone for an extended period of time. I hope you’re fine with soup because based on what I’ve seen from your refrigerator, there isn’t really much hope for something better.”

The soup itself wasn’t very filling but he had also brought over spring rolls from his apartment so that was what all 3 of my meals consisted of. Occasionally I would glance over at the man next to me. Luckily he was too enamored with the television that he didn’t catch me because I’m pretty sure some of those “glances” were more like lengthy stares. Everything about him was perfect. It made my heart hurt. I couldn’t spend time without thinking about Jean, without thinking that I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t deserve the person sitting next to me. I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering a little. The temperature seemed to have dropped dramatically and even 3 blankets couldn’t save me from the cold of the room, nor the cold thoughts that tormented his mind. 

“It’s fucking freezing in here.” Levi grumbled, “Get a job so that your poor ass can afford electricity bills.”

Instinctively I scooted closer to him sharing all three blankets with him. His skin was freezing to the touch, I wondered how long he had just been sitting here freezing. We lay together like that all lumped together for a few minutes until Levi complained about me crushing his arm so he readjusted to having it lay over my shoulders.  

If I could pause one moment of my life and relive it forever I would pause it here. I could never get bored of this. This feeling that sent my heart racing 100 miles per hour and sent fire to my cheeks, I could stay like this until time no longer existed. Right now all I wanted to do was lay like this, because right now I can’t remember all the small angry thoughts, right now all I know is this really good feeling and I never want it to go away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the comments you guys leave are so wonderful, they make my day to read them <3 so special thanks to those who take the time out of their day to just leave few words in exchange.


	10. Pancakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: sad Eren, and for those of you who have gotten this far into the fic I thin you know what that means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would I consider this a long chapter? No. Would I consider this a whole bunch more plot than those previous fluffy fillers? Yes.

## Ch. 9 - Pancakes

I don’t really remember falling asleep, but I woke up in someone’s arms. My head was buried in someone’s chest, they smelled really good, like cologne but I knew if I searched I could never find a scent like this in the stores. Then I remembered Levi, and the TV, which happened to be turned off now. My back was stiff and I was kind of hungry but I couldn’t bring myself to wake the man sleeping under me. His face looked so calm, there were no stiff angry expressions or bored looks. It was the complete opposite of the man I’d come to know and it was kind of comical but I loved it at the same time. It really made me want to kiss him. But that was an absurd thought, something I couldn’t even imagine doing. If he woke up, I’d probably lose my head, and I was quite fond of keeping it on my neck where it belonged. But then again he was so cute when he got grumpy, but I also didn’t know how much of a morning person he was and the thought kind of terrified me. I hadn’t made up my yet when sleepy gunmetal grey eyes were staring back at mine.

“Brat, you’ve got the prettiest eyes did you know that?” he grumbled sleepily, running a hand through my hair.

“Oh, uh…”

“Mmmh your hair is fucking soft too, what time is it?” he continued, leaving his hand on my head while he leaned his head back and closed his eyes again.

I reached for my phone sitting on the coffee table trying my best not to disturb him, not knowing what could happen if I did.

“It's 11:27,” I replied setting the phone back down on the table, “why?”

“Because I don’t want to move yet, got a problem?” he grumbled.

I shifted my position a little in hopes of making things a little more comfortable for him. “Well I’m kinda hungry,” I said sheepishly.

“Eating can wait.” came his curt reply.

My stomach grumbled a little as if to say back “no eating cannot wait” but I decided to endure for at least 10 more minutes. It was quite warm and comfortable as we were now, but my stomach obviously thought otherwise. 10 minutes went by and there was absolutely no sign of Levi moving. I thought about kissing him again. On the plus side he’d probably wake up, on the negative side I might be slaughtered in my own home, but at least I’d go down without any serious regret. I shifted my body forward, moving my face closer to his. I think he had fallen asleep again, his face in the same relaxed position it as in before. Taking a deep breath and praying for my life I leaned down and brushed my lips against his. I sat back to see if it had done any good, and just like I had thought, it woke him up. One grey eye opened to stare back at ocean blue, and to be honest it sent chills down my spine for a moment.

“Uh… good morning?” I said, flashing a sheepish grin at him.

By now both eyes had opened and were staring at me as if to say “Oh? What was that?”.

“I just thought that maybe it would wake you up… like sleeping beauty I guess?” I said, rubbing my neck anxiously.

“So you really wanted to kiss me that bad huh Jaeger?” he growled, an amused look spreading across his face. “I knew I should have kissed you last night, brat you took my move.”

“Wha-?” I tried to ask him what he meant but before I could form any real words he had grabbed my shirt and was pulling me down onto his lips. This side of him… it was so different then from what I was used to. There was no cold barrier to break, no scary glances, just, well whatever this was. It was refreshing to see a new side to him. I couldn’t decide which side I liked better.

“Hmm much better.” he mumbled under his breath before pushing me off him, “I’m making pancakes.”

Annnnd he was back to his usual self. I smiled a little bit to myself, my cheeks probably cherry red. I wouldn’t mind keeping him to myself forever, I thought to myself.

The quick chime of my phone snapped me out of my trance. Still reluctant to get off the couch I attempted reaching out for it and almost slipped which have resulted in me slapping my forehead down onto a glass table. Luckily that didn’t happen, but that definitely would have ruined my morning. Well it turns out that slapping my head onto glass would have been way better than was displayed on my phone.

_1 new message from Jean_

I could have sworn my heart stopped beating in my chest when I saw that blink onto the screen. I felt tears threaten to spill down my cheeks but I managed to sneak into the bathroom without Levi noticing me in such a pathetic state. With trembling hands I managed to unlock my phone and click on the notification.

“Hey Eren, I’m so sorry for everything I said to you, I made our string break I’m so sorry, please come back I haven’t gotten a new string yet but I thought maybe, maybe I was really meant to be with you and I just broke it off too early. Maybe relationships are suppose to happen slowly and I was just impatient. Please Eren, come meet me somewhere. Our colleges should be nearby. I need to see your face.”

This time I couldn’t stop the tears. They streamed down my cheeks and no matter how many times I tried to wipe them away, there was always more to replace them. Big ugly tears that ripped off the pretty, smiling mask I had been wearing just for Levi. So that he didn’t have to worry about me, so that everyone thought I was ok, that no one questioned what the person inside was really like. My hands balled into fists, tighter, tighter, until blood dripped down my knuckles. The pain wasn’t enough to null all the anguish in my head though. I raked my fingernails down my arms, pulled harshly at my hair, nothing was enough. I glanced at the razor I used to shave the small amount of stubble that ever grew on my face. I was shaking so bad, I was afraid Levi could hear my sniffles and muffled sobs from the kitchen but he hadn’t said anything yet and I could still hear something sizzling from the kitchen. I looked down at my arms, now reduced to a mess of blood. I didn’t know what to other than this. The cuts stung but at least they took my mind off the bright screen that seemed to mock me from the blood stained tile floor. _Strings aren’t suppose to break._ It’s not natural. It’s taboo. You’re suppose to be perfect with the first person it connects you to. That’s how it works with everyone, so where did I go wrong? Why wasn’t I good enough for the first one? Why did it think I deserved another chance? Blood mixed with salty tears as I curled up into a tighter ball, begging to disappear. I was so pathetic. It only took one text message to reduce me to such a pitiful sight. It was pathetic. It was awful. I hated it. I hated myself. I glanced at the razor again. I didn’t deserve a second chance. The string was wrong with letting me have another chance. I thought back to Levi. Handsome, perfect, a little grumpy at times, but everything about him was too good for me.

_Wouldn’t it be nice to just… stop?_

I would be. I wasn’t good enough. I thought back to Mikasa and Armin. The only two I had left, they would miss me, but they would learn to move on, they would be ok. I should leave a note, but maybe the text messages would be enough to explain everything, I reached for the razor.

“Eren, breakfast…” I guess I had forgotten to lock the door. “Eren what the fuck!?” he bellowed, grabbing both bloodied arms in his hands. I started sobbing, but this time I didn’t try to conceal the sound.

“Eren please what is going on?” he asked, his voice considerably quieter but still full of concern. All I could do was shake my head between sobs as my entire body shook. “Eren, Eren listen to me, you need to tell me why I have to keep finding you with your arms covered in blood? Were you just reaching for your razor? Eren you need to talk to me.” His voice sounded panicked and hurried as he spewed out each question, not even pausing to let me start answering one. When he was done spewing questions he just stared at me with this horribly sad expression before pulling me into a really tight embrace.

“Why do I always find you like this? It scares me. You worry me so much.” He mumbled into white cotton of my shirt.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I sobbed, hiccuping in between, “I’m not good enough for you I don’t want you to worry, I’m so sorry I’m like this. I don’t want to be like this, I’m so pathetic I can’t even control my own emotions, I get all worked up over a single text. I’m so sorry I don’t deserve you it’s ok if you want to break the string, you can do that if you want to leave you can leave I’ll be ok.” I felt him shaking a little underneath me and I wondered if he was crying too, but I couldn’t see his face.

“Fucking idiot do you really think I would have stayed this long if I wasn’t planning on staying for a really long time. What the fuck do you mean I deserve better? What kind of bull shit is that? I don’t want anyone else.” a moment of silence passed before he shakily whispered something else, something barely audible that maybe he was only suppose to hear, “Please, please don’t leave me. I don’t think I could bear to have another one leave.”

He didn’t let go of me even after my sobs had calmed down, even after they were reduced to mere sniffles. From the other room I smelled pancakes burning, but I think by that point I had already lost my appetite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I'm writing another fic or those of you who like BTS and Jungkook and x-readers. Yeah. I'll be posting ch. 1 soonish so please look forward to it :) 
> 
> P.S. - It's considerable less sad than this one. Or at least that's the plan. You never know what to expect from me... heheh...


	11. A Second Notice

~so sorry for those who clicked on this thinking it was a new chapter...~

OH BOY WHERE DO I START

I GUESS WITH A SUPER LATE APOLOGY???

 

So a few of you may have been wondering where the heck I have been. Yes I am still alive and breathing don't worry about me... Recently I have been working on a few smaller projects on a different site called Amino. For those of you wondering what I was doing while I was dead on this site it was 1 small (and extraordinarily fluffy) x reader fic, and 1 WW1 AU setting oneshot, also an x reader.

To be completely honest with all of you here, I had gotten a little bored of this fic. I wanted to try something new and different, so I explored x readers a little bit. At that point I had never finished a fic in my life because I would never plan ahead and then end up leaving the end hanging, never to be picked up. (For those of you here from Trapped Between Two Worlds, what up~ I see you). My goal with those 2 projects was just to finish. To create something I was proud of and that I could label as complete. Well I'm happy to announce to you all that for the first time in all of my time writing, I finally finished 2 stories I'm proud (for now lol) to say I've written (it's almost like I'm announcing I gave birth... actually writing is pretty similar to giving birth except you don't need a second person and it's mostly emotional pain... analogies aside...).

Im so sorry for prioritizing those projects over this one. I know how it feels to get immersed in a story and then not know where the story is going. I'm also sorry for leaving you on a cliffhanger because woops I have bad habits. I've been meaning to finish up this story. I was actually planning on this being like  4 chapter and then done kind of thing. I was so amazed at how many of you got so into my writing. I'll never forget sitting in class, it was after we had taken a test so I as just scrolling through my phone, when my first comment on this work popped up. I actually almost started crying. Writing has been an emotional roller coaster for me, as it probably is for everyone. My first fic I published on this site (Trapped Between Two Worlds where you at tho?) was extremely unpopular, which makes sense. It was shipping a real character with one of my own design. I can understand why people would have a hard time getting into that, but nonetheless it was a blow to my confidence. I stopped writing for a really long time. I didn't take a break to write on another site, no I just stopped writing. One of my friends saved me. She was also a writer, she specialized in more Hamilton based works and had skyrocketed in popularity even though she had started later than me. I was discouraged by her but also motivated. Another friend who stayed suppotive and read everything I did was constant motivation. She is also thinking of starting her own works as well.

I started this fic. All of a sudden people found me. My confidence boosted and I wrote a lot more. If that first chapter hadn't gotten the recognition it had, I still wouldn't be writing. My friends were the spark but you guys are the fuel that keeps this fire burning. I would not be writing without them, without you. 

As an author I have not been paying you guys back with chapters even throughout all your support and I'm really sorry. You guys were here, some of you since day 1. Since Trapped Between Two Worlds (one of you even left a comment on that trash fic, I love you girl/dude). I've made so many empty promises of updates, so I don't want to say there will be an update soon, but I will keep this fic in mind. For all of you who commented, for all of you who left kudos. I didn't think this work would get the recognition it did. I didn't think so many of you would be immersed in my words.

 

Thank you for staying and I'm sorry for forgetting about you... You all didn't deserve that.

 

I'll get better. I won't forget this time. I want to start finishing things instead of leaving them empty. I will get better. That's one promise I want to keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Waah sorry sorry. I can't say sorry enough (;-;). If you guys want to know what I've been up to for the past I-don't-even-know-how-long AND you are a fan of the Korean male idol group, BTS, feel free to find me on the ARMY Amino (downloadable on android and apple devices). My username is Oliverrr. Hope to see some of you guys there! (If you've come from here leave a comment on my wall or something so I know who you are :) don't be afraid to say hello~)


	12. Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for leaving you guys for so long :) I hope this is ok...

## Ch. 10 - Okay

After I caught my breath I spilled out everything. How one day the string just snapped only to reappear a few days later, how I didn’t feel like enough. I told him about Jean, about everything, about a time before him. He was silent the entire time. Only after I had finished did he do anything. Without saying a word, he pulled my body into his, despite the blood that could stain his clothing. He held me there for a moment not saying anything before telling me these words I’ll never forget. 

_ “Eren, you are enough. You are my everything.” _

\---------------------------------------------

A couple days had passed since I received that text message. Levi made me delete it. Something had changed in his attitude. He was softer with me now, not by much but I could still pick it up.  I never met up with Jean. I never knew if he ever found another string attached to his ring finger. Levi had done everything he could to make sure I remembered that the past was the past, and that sometimes the past could be shit, but at least you had the future to look forward to. I didn’t actually expect such a phrase to come out of his mouth, but it meant so much more hearing someone like him say it. He gave it an overused phrase meaning (while adding a few curse words in…). 

The day after he watched me break down, he asked me to move in with him… well not exactly asked, more like demanded. So that day was spent taking all the items we had recently unpacked up more stairs to reach his apartment. The activity helped me forget, being with him helped me forget, but only for so long.

I still had times when I broke down, but he was always there when I did. As time went by, those episodes became less and less frequent. 

Days passed with him, then weeks and months, our string continued to get thicker. At one point it was like wearing a thick rope around my ring finger. 

One night we were walking alone after getting dinner someplace I’ve already forgotten, when he spun around grabbing my hands in his. 

“Enough of this string bullshit when are we ever gonna be able to get fucking married?” he said, faux irritation in his voice. 

I was shocked beyond belief as I stared down at our intertwined fingers. The string disintegrating between us. The only thing it left behind was a bright red scar burned into my ring finger. I remember what my mom and dad’s looked like. Theirs was relatively simple, a few thin, simple lines wrapped around their finger, but somehow it told a story in their eyes. Ours was a mess of sharp edged lines melding gracefully with delicated curved ones. Like fire. To anyone else it might have looked like nothing, but it told our story. I looked up locking eyes with the man I was destined to spend the rest of my life with. He could see it too. We were going to be ok. 

\---------------------------------------------

Years passed, seasons and celebrations came and went. I graduated college with Armin, both of us holding degrees in art. Levi became a world renowned clothing designer, and I his head photographer. I never heard from Jean again, but I never forgot. The pain had subsided but the scars on my arms had yet to fade.

I took a deep breath in of the crisp fall air, turning my head to look at the man I had loved for so long. Long, hectic schedules had worn him out seeing as he was fast asleep on the chair next to me. I looked back out at the scenery that was so much different from the view for the tiny apartment we used to share. Instead of garbage cans and alleyways, we had nicely kept lawns and painted houses. 

“We’re going to be ok Levi,” I whispered, reaching out to push some of his bangs out of his face, “we’re going to be ok.”


	13. Author's Note

Hi~

Small Asian Author, back at it again with the end of Ring Fingers and Red Thread.

I know I know. I'm crying too, you aren't the only one. But oh my god I had no idea my writing would get so popular. From the insane hit number (it's at like 1356 or something crazy right now) to all of your amazing comments (love you guys) to all the kudos and bookmarks. I just want to say thanks for accompanying me on this crazy roller coaster ride. I've gone through so many different emotions while writing this, sometimes I wondered if I could ever finish.

After such a long hiatus I know it kind of sucks to just get a final chapter and this sucky note, but I truly had no idea where else the story would have gone since the main conflict (Jean) was now out of the picture. I decided to end it after the 9th chapter so that it didn't get too repetitive or monotones. I wanted to keep Ring Fingers and Red Thread a good fic and not let it turn into one of those stories that never really ends and readers end up dropping. I hope you can understand~

 

I may not be back on Archive for a very long time unless you guys want me to post some of my BTS stuff on here as well. 

 

I don't use tumblr either so if some of you guys have been trying to contact me through that... woops.

 

If any of you are still interested in me as an author even as I am closing this story off, you can always come find me on the BTS ARMY Amino (That is if you are into kpop and BTS). My user is Oliverrr and I would absolutely love it if some of you guys joined and said hi :). 

 

You have all been so amazing. More than any author could ask for. Sorry for the super odd updating schedule and abrupt ending, I hope my timing didn't ruin the story for you.

 

And with that said, Small Asian Author out~

 

Thank you again for all your support.


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